a change is a comin'

this week we are having our spring refreshing services. they are going really well and i am getting to be in the presence of alot of cool people. preaching this week is dr. bill faulkner. bill is the executive director of missions for the greater orlando baptist association. he is an excellent communicator and expositor. i am really enjoying listening to him. i also get the privilege this week of working with chris vieth as he leads worship. chris is the minister of worship and music at tabernacle baptist church in decatur, il. he is such a blessing and has really encouraged me and taught me alot about leading a blended contemporary service.
our theme this week is "let it rain: a time of refreshing". it has already been that and much more. chris has done a wonderful job of picking songs pointing to the dependency and supremacy of Christ and bill has been urging our congregation to be more missional, scriptural, and totally centered on the Gospel. so all of that to say this...
bill was preaching out of matthew 9:35-38 and john 4:31-42 on becoming and being a missional church. he was talking of the importance of sowing seeds in out communities and not in our church buildings. so as we were in a time of reflection and commitment at the end i felt the Holy Spirit urging me share a dream with the people that i had on march 13th. i had not shared this with anyone, only notating it on my phone with a short paragraph. so i did and this was the dream: i was at a wedding and dressed for it. and for some strange reason it was my wedding. but it was not my real wedding, as in not the one where i got married to kim, this was a new wedding. a new venue with new people and a new bride. kim was there and i remember feeling terribly awkward but in a saddening way she was okay with it and in a saddening way i did not really want this but i was going through with this marriage anyway. i felt terrible anxiety about the whole situation. then i woke up.
i got up and decided to ponder this and i half jokingly asked the Lord what this dream meant, not really expecting anything to come of it. but he answered. i was prompted to go to revelation 2:2-5. this was a verse that i have used many times on other people with a sense of pride, thinking that i was better than them. this is what it says, "I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. 3I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name’s sake, and you have not grown weary. 4But I have this against you, that you have abandoned he love you had at first. 5Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent." after reading this i knew it. i knew what i was guilty of and i notated this, "i am a fierce contender for the Gospel. i love it and live for it with all that i am. but many times i am good at nothing more than lipservice." and for whatever reason i stored this away, until tonight.
i have felt over the last month and a half or so a change coming in my heart. i am feeling what paul describes in romans 2 as the kindness of the Lord leading me to repentance. i look at this dream and i know that i have put so many other things in front of my relationship with Jesus and have neglected knowing him through his word. and i have been expecting some sort of harsh punisment for this. but the Lord has been changing my heart through his kindness. i am experiencing brokenness through simplicity and God revealing my faults subtly. i have a renewed passion for knowing God through his word more and more. i have a renewed passion for leading my wife in knowing God through his word. i am amazed how this dream and its affirmation in scripture have not disturbed me to the point of depression but rather the gentle hand of my Father has guided me to repentance. i am truly amazed at this!
so a change is a comin'. pray for kim and i as we start to seek the Lord and his direction for our future. everyday i am more and more confident of the calling on our lives to plant a church and specifically for me to preach and teach the Gospel with my life and words. we are not really sure what this looks like right now and we are learning so much in litchfield right now. we have found a home town and a church family for life. i cannot say enough how much we feel loved here and how much we want to love here. it is a great place for us right now for however long the Lord will have us stay.
a change is a comin' in my heart, to be well studied and disciplined and to let the word live out in me and to teach this and translate it to my wife so that she can teach it and translate it to others. i praise God for his gentle hand of love that disciplines me with the most astounding outpouring of love. we serve the God of all gods who desires for us to know him fully and he has given his word so that we might draw close to him.
even though i feel that this dream was a personal warning, i feel that it also can ge translated into a warning for the body of Christ as a whole. there has been a loss of our first love. we have abandoned Jesus for programs, books, and status. we have whored his glory in the precious facade of our own gospel so that we might be lifted up for our sake in his Kingdom. i am so guilty of this but i pray that the Lord continues to stir the hearts of those that he has called, that we all might feel the weight of the Gospel in all we do.